He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize