What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
