Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize