sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
