Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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