just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
