so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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