thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
