He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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