i jhust puked up my retainher.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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