Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
