i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
