I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Even my vagina gasped.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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