at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
