The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Couch. On fire.
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