non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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