Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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