im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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