Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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