3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize