Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
