she looked like the bat from fern gully.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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