Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
