I CAN MOONWALK!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
