remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
