Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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