Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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