even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
