You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your cock deserves a montage
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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