i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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