Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I woke up under a house in Key West
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