Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
