My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
