you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
