that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
