Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize