Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
