I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
