a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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