isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
