my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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