I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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