it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
