He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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