What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
