Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize