I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize