there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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