she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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