the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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