Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
