with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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