all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize