Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
