Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
