Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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