I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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