Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
