Who wears a wallet chain?!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
