Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
