I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
