You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
