The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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